Personal
Massagers
Q: Lately
I was thinking about buying myself a vibrator. My only problem is fear
of my parents finding it, and actually buying it. I'm scared to go buy
one. There is a place near by that I can go purchase one, but I'm too
scared to actually go in the room to look. LOL! Sorry, I feel ridiculous
asking this.
A: Your
question is not ridiculous — it's healthy to explore and expand one's
sexuality. Plus, you are not alone — walking into an adult toy store
is unsettling for many people. You've already taken the first step —
thinking about buying a vibrator. Here are some possible next steps.
Think about what makes you uneasy about
looking at vibrators at the store. Perhaps you are intimidated that
there are many to choose from and that you may not know what you want.
Maybe you anticipate having questions that you are too embarrassed to
ask. Realize that these stores exist because people are interested in
what they are selling. Generally speaking, the salespeople are friendly
and encourage questions — they want their customers to be satisfied.
Researching the different types of
vibrators before you go to the store can help alleviate your anxiety.
You can do this by looking at online adult toy stores or perusing
mail-order catalogs (by the way, these are two options you can consider
if you desire more privacy and/or feel too uncomfortable or embarrassed
to make a trip to a shop. You can order their products to be sent to you
in discreet packaging.). This way, you will know what to expect when you
go to the store.
Once you have an idea of the types of
vibrators that are available, you can narrow your choices to find one
that will suit you. Purchasing a vibrator is similar to buying a new
car. If you are getting a car, you may consider mileage, comfort,
features, and color. Now, think of what is important to you when buying
a vibrator — here are some questions that will help you decide what
kind of toy you want:
- What do you want to stimulate?
- Will you use it for insertion?
- How strong do you want the
vibrations?
- What type of texture and shape do
you want?
- Do you have a favorite color in
mind?
- How much do you want to spend?
Here are three additional questions to
think about:
- Do you have to be concerned
about the noise?
- If the walls are thin, or if you are
nervous that your parents or roommate(s) might hear things that go
buzz in the night, coil-operated electric vibrators may be your best
choice. These are the most silent of them all. If you purchase a
different type of vibrator, using it while you are under the covers
will help muffle the buzz.
- Is this discreet?
- The shape and size of some vibrators
look more discreet than others. For example, purchasing a vibrator
advertised as a "personal massager" will be easier to
explain if your parents or roommate(s) stumble on your electric or
battery operated friend. These vibrators look like a wand and often
come with several attachments that are great to use on "sore
muscles," such as on your shoulders or back. Aside from buying
them at adult toy stores, they can also be purchased at neighborhood
drug or department stores.
- Where will you keep it?
- You mention your fear of your
parents finding your vibrator. Is there a "secret" place
in your room where you keep personal items, such as a journal or
special cards and letters? A reverse psychology approach may work,
too. Keeping it in a place where you store other things that aren't
worth hiding might not draw attention.
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